When you spend $150 on a watch, the 11th hour tick mark is not supposed to fall off for no reason.
Walking 1.2 miles to the bars is NOT too far to walk. 1.2 miles IS too far to drive drunk. Think about it.
In the Xerox men's room, there are three urinals. Urinals 1 and 3 are in play. Urinal 2 is OFF LIMITS. I don't care if you are 50 years old and this is only your tenth time today. Haven't you listened to Jerry Seinfeld's buffer theory?
Thayer Rd. and Dartmouth needs to be a four-way stop.
Listen to Jose Padilla's new album Man Ray v.4. So good.
I need to get my passport soon so I can head over to Yalta with GBro. Russian girls better be as hot as you say they are GBro or your turtle gets it! ~holds badass machete up to turtle~
... ~realizes turtles are impervious to stabbing~
... ~realizes GBro doesn't have a turtle~
... ~wonders where the turtle came from~
... ~wonders where the badass machete came from~
... ~wonders why the badass machete has "MIG" monogrammed on it~
... ~wonders why someone would monogram a machete~
... ~wonders where one would go to monogram a machete~
"Ibiza is (dot dot dot)." If you can tell me what that's from, I'll give you a cookie.
Glenn did it. Don't let his pleas of innocence fool you.
I need to stop procrastinating.